It puts the ideas in the binder or it gets the hose again

I’m currently being held hostage by my own creativity.

Sure, I like coming up with idea after idea complete with fully-realized actionable steps to transform my dreams into goals and therefore more likely to see follow through and results… but ya girl and her brain need a break. I can’t even discuss the several supremely important pieces in play because the ideas are coming faster than I can synthesize them into words. I know what I’m doing but I don’t know how to convey that in a way that doesn’t result in concerned commentary. Blogging has been all but a joke because the ideas interrupt my writing flow and I have to keep them at bay before they breach the perimeter of sanity and consume everything in sight by humoring the creative juices.

My biggest communication issue after anger management is conveying abstract ideas in a concrete world. It’s near impossible. Whenever I tried to instruct a former roommate on how to best set up specifics for a themed blanket fort party it was met with doubt and confusion. Every time we hosted these parties–parties we became well known in our social circles for executing with pizzazz–I would tell the skeptical faces blinking back at me to just trust me. Fortunately, John knew me well enough to know that my vision was poorly communicated but he was on board and trusted in the awesome. Once it was underway and all the little details were live and more or less worked out how I explained it was always met with resounding comprehension while I nod my head and go, “Yeah, well I told you all this.” Just because I used mouth-words at him does not mean I told him what was going on in a way that made sense to anyone but me. That’s what I’m experiencing on a larger scale right now so I don’t know how to talk about my life and my future in a way that makes concrete sense, but trust me when I say it will be awesome!

My former party partner in crime and I describing ridiculous instructions for an over the top secret event at a blanket fort party we added just to be weird. We were good at that.

And that’s where my life is at right now. I have an insane number of things in the works and I don’t know how I’m keeping track of everything (spoiler alert: I’m not). I’m just a girl with a binder that is somehow getting her life on track for the first time ever while still being a lukewarm mess. I will eventually share more information about my next steps as the ideas become fully realized plans, but for right now all I have is this registry of storage items for my car to ensure I am able to move my belongings across the country in my tiny, two door car. Did you know that coupes are smol?

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